Opposite Ends
by Dragon in the Mist
Summary: Two new girl students end up at the Sohma's high school and turn it upside down, What happened to Tohru! Pairings: HaruOCYukiAyame, HatoriOCKyoAkito. Wacky? We know! Discontinued, we feel the original point is lost. Sry! Sincerly Shadow. Abandoned, sorry
1. Sohma Frenzy

_Disclaimer: We do not own Fruits Basket so don't bug US!!_

Dragon: Hiya Folks! Welcome to our show!

Fire: ……….starring blankly at Dragon

Haru: What cha starrin at?

Fire: Dragon's stupidity

Dragon: Whacks Fire

Fire: OWWW!!! What was that for?!?!

Dragon: Your stupidity!

Fire: Whacks Dragon 

Hatori: Let's just start the show shall we?

Dragon & Fire: FINE!

(A/N: This is a combined fic. Written with 'HidingWontWork'.)

Opposite Ends 

**-Sohma Frenzy **

"Hi class, we have 2 new students joining us today, they are…" "We can introduce ourselves ya old wench!" You hear a pissed off girl yell from the hallway. /Kami teachers, Kami politeness, Kami school, and Kami you Mika! /Sorry They mumble telepathically to each other.

The angry girl walks in whipping her hair unknowingly that the 'Prince's' jaw is slacking from her beauty, while his fan girls' foam at the mouth. "I'm Ry- WAIT! Get in here girl!" "No… wait I don't wanna!" the girl cries as she's dragged in by her hair. "Stop!… Oh hi." The shorter girl shyly remarks. Whack "Ow what cha do that for?" "I felt like it. Now…I'm Ryoko Mikamara, and this little toadstool here is Mika Mikamara."

A boy with fiery orange hair and blood red eyes raises his hand. "Yes? What is it?" Mika asks him. "Why are you two in the same grade?" "We're twins you DUMBASS!" "Don't be so mean Ryoko!" "Stay outta this Mika!" "What's it to ya, ya DAMN RAT!" "I'm older than you, you STUPID CAT!" "Oh! Like by two MINUTES!" "Also another difference…" She puts a hand on her head and slides it off above Mika's and drops it down to her head. "She's a TOADSTOOL!" Laugh

While this was happening… 'Cat?!? Rat?!? What…is there another family cursed by the zodiac?!' thought an orange haired boy and a brown haired girl… but what of our dear Prince? 'Wow! Ryoko sure is cute! Mental Slap Why am I thinking that?!? Did they call each other a cat and a rat?! There can't be another family cursed?'

"Why don't you gals go take your seats?" "Why don't we push you out the window?" "Seriously go take your seats!" "Seriously go push yourself out the window!" "Well I never!" "That's right! You never thought you'd have students like us your class, and you never thought anyone would find our you're a lesbian!" "How did you…?" "We didn't evil smirks you just confessed!" "NO wait!..wait.. I …I ! OH FUCK!" "You can't say that in front of us… we're young and impressionable minds!" says Mika

"Cough Not Cough Really! HACK!" "Oh my gosh are you alright?!?" Yuki asks as he runs to the front of the class and pats Ryoko on the back thinking she's actually choking. Ryoko looks up at Yuki "Not choking dude. Not choking." "But..but…!" Ryoko looks Yuki up and down Evil Smirk "Yes you do have a butt…looks pretty firm… should I test my theory Strokes her chin evilly?" Yuki blushes as Ryoko creeps her hand towards Yuki's ass! Whack Ryoko gets hit by Mika "NO HENTAI NO HENTAI!!" Mika shouts at Ryoko. " FINE!" Ryoko says, but takes a quick pat at it anyway while pushing Mika into Kyo and making Yuki fall on top of her.

As this was happening Hatori, dragging Haru and Momiji by their ears, walks passed the door, peers in, and sees……………NAKED Ladies…(no just kidding!) and sees………………that Kyo and Yuki haven't transformed while hugging girls! "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!" Hatori yells as he burst through the door! From hearing Hatori, yell the teacher, who is leaning against the window, falls out! "GASP HARI! You said a bad word!" Momiji bounces up and down while pointing at Hatori. (A/N: Hatori is the school doctor, Akito is the principal, Ayame, is vice principal, and Shigure is the librarian. And one for KYO! Kagura is the new student teacher!)

"Are you sure you're girls?!?!" Kyo yells more than asks. Ryoko takes Yuki's hand and puts it to her chest. Yuki blushes and says "Yep she's a girl alright!" "Sorry Kyo!" "She's to much of a wimp to be a guy!" Ryoko points out.

Kyo looks up at Hatori and…."What the hell are you three doing here Ha-tor-I! You and the two brats!" "I'm taking them to my office." "Office?" Yuki questions, "Yes didn't you hear I'm the new school doctor, Shigure is the new librarian, Ayame is the new vice principal, and Akito is the Principal." "NO Akito….no!" Yuki stutters "Oh and Kyo… Kagura's the new student teacher." "NO! I'll go on a journey that's what I'll do!" "No you're not… the four of you are coming to my office Momiji and Haru try to sneak away wait… the six of you are coming to my office." "Aw man!" all six groan, but obey. "Can we come too?" some random girls in the class ask.

"You do you die!" Mika threatens "Well that's a different side of her." Kyo says "We both have sort of mood swings, more or less like personality disorders." Everyone stares at Ryoko because she's acting civil. "Didn't I say we both have mood swings? Well. DUMBASSES!" "sigh She's back." Mika says. "Come on now to my office." Hatori says "By any chance is your office by Akito's?" Hatori just glares at Yuki. 'I wonder who this Akito person is.' Ryoko and Mika think to themselves.

Haru: Where the hell am I?!?!

Fire: You there you just didn't have any lines!

Haru: Whatever! 

Dragon: Don't worry baby! You'll have lines next time!

Haru: Baby? I've never even met you!

Dragon: But haven't you? wiggles eyebrows

Haru: No

Fire: I'm jus gonna go!

Momiji: We all gotta go! BYE!

in back ground Dragon: Oh come back here Haru!

Haru: Get away from me woman!

Dragon: Can I at least try to make you remember smooch!

Haru: Oh yeah! Now I remember!

Hatori: Read and review so they just SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

Dragon & Fire: HEY!

Dragon: no flames please. If you do, they will be used to roast marshmallows. Constructive criticism is always appreciated though.


	2. Curses!

**Opposite Ends**

_Disclaimer: We do not own Fruits Basket!_

**Fire: What's that red light in the black box mean?**

**Dragon: The camera is on you idiot!**

**Momiji runs by: Fire's an idiot! Fire's an idiot!**

**Fire: You wanna start something floppy ears!**

**Momiji runs away: AH! TOHRU! FIRE'S HURTING ME!**

**Fire: I DIDN'T TOUCH THE DAMN RABBIT!**

**Dragon: yet +**

**Hatori: Find out what happens to Momiji after the chapter /turns around/ wait! Don't kill him already!**

**Haru/shifty eyes/ I think its time for reviews.**

Silver Hart: We switched our format thanks to your kind criticism unlike some other people! 

_**Sami the archangel: Thanks for the tip!**_

_**Aurora Angel Fox:**_

_**Fire: Akito rules! Except for the whole hurting Hari's eye!**_

_**Dragon: What about Yuki?**_

_**Fire: You know I HATE no LOATH Yuki! So I don't care about 'im**_

_**Dragon: Well Hatori sucks too!**_

_**Fire: You take that back you!**_

_**Well anyway….. Ayame does act like Pegasus, but he's still cool! If you thought the characters were strange last chapter…. They're about to get a whole lot stranger!

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**-Curses!**

Everyone was on their way to Hatori's office & Momiji was kicking and screaming "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna GO!" "Shut your mouth ya dang rabbit!" Haru yells at him!

Everyone arrives at Hatori's office. "Everyone take your seat." Hatori commands. Everyone looks at the chairs and sees there are only three. Haru, Yuki, and Kyo quickly grab the chairs. "Be gentlemen." Hatori says.

All of a sudden Yuki and Haru pull Ryoko to them so she is lying on their laps (her head is on Haru's lap). Mika is still standing and Kyo is being glared at by Hatori and before she realizes it Kyo has pulled her to him and made her sit on his lap.

Haru starts playing with Ryoko's hair out of sheer boredom and likes the feel of the silky strands. Ryoko glares at Haru "You may have a nice lap, but don't mess with the hair." Ryoko states.

"Did you just say you like my lap?" Haru asks. Instead of getting a reply you hear faint snoring.

"Wha! She fainted!" Haru asks and gets an evil smirk on his face, but it vanishes when Ryoko slides her hand to the side of her face right above… well…certain male parts.

"Apparently she does like your lap." Yuki states to Haru rather jealously. "Apparently she thinks your lap's a couch." Mika snides. "Why'd she do that!" Momiji yells. "Well you see we're under a curse," Mika says, everyone's attention is caught, "Whenever someone asks a question we are forced to tell the truth. Now Ryoko has trained herself to fall asleep whenever someone asks a question she doesn't want to answer. Me, on the other hand, have not mastered that yet." Mika explains.

"I'm not quite sure that's healthy." Hatori says with a blank expression on his face (a/n: Like it's be any other expression!). "Who are you to question us on our health!" Mika questions loudly. "The school doctor." He replies. Mika starts blushing uncontrollably . "Well, well, well, this _shall_ be interesting." Ryoko wakes up and snidely remarks and turns to Haru. "Hell YES!…wait…NO!" she buries her head in Haru's neck.

"What was that?" Momiji asks. "The answer to Haru's question.," Mika states, "Well, well, well, this _shall_ be interesting……….does anybody know what "shall" means, ANYBODY AT ALL!" Anime sweat drops all around!

"Well with that behind us…," Ryoko mumbles from Haru's neck, "mmm… smells good!" No one seems to hear that last part except for Haru, who just isn't saying anything, he just smirks and holds on tighter. "Comfy Ryoko?" Haru asks. "Yes, you?" she replies. "Yes quite comfy." "And you Yuki, are you comfy?" **Glare Glare Glare at Haru. **

"Well, well, well. This shall be interesting." Mika states. "Are you planning to set his hair on fire because that's my job." Ryoko states the obvious, but of course the Sohmas are ignorant. So Hatori asks, "What?" and raises his eyebrow.(a/n: Fire: OOOO I can do that too!). "Let's just say she has the power to create and wield fire… she's a pyrokinetic rat!" Mika explains. "Shut up you telekinetic cat! An orange one at that!" Ryoko retorts. "Well look at that another cat and rat!" Momiji exclaims!

Mika throws a punch at Ryoko, while Ryoko throws a punch at Mika. Their fists collide and they fall back into their respective laps (Mika in Kyo's and Ryoko in Yuki's). Ryoko jumps on Yuki head and makes herself comfy while Yuki is still in shock. Kyo picks up Mika and brings her to eye, "What the hell happened to you guys?" he asks. "What does it look like, I turned into a cat and Ryoko turned into a rat! It happens all the time." Mika replies. "Dimwit what else would it have been?" Ryoko opens an eye lazily saying.

Suddenly………………(a/n: Fire: Maybe we should just end it here: Dragon:Whack It's not even 1,000 words yet! You Dunderhead: Fire: Fine fine fine!) A giant monkey pops out of the closet! (a/n: Fire: Now this posses many questions, Why is there a monkey? Why is there a closet in Hatori's office? And WHERE did the monkey come from: Dragon: What's with the monkeys their not supposed to be here: Fire: I like monkeys: Dragon: OOOO do you, I think someone likes Ritsu: Fire: Do you wanna be paired up with Ritsu in my next new story: Dragon: Oh My Dear Sweet God Please SAVE ME!)

Suddenly……………..(a/n: F&D: Let's try this again! We'll shut up now) Kagura walks in screaming " Kyo! My LOVE!" "Stay away from me and my cat!" Kyo warns! "I'm not your cat." Mika says. "There's two of you! GOODY!" Kagura excitedly squeals! "I'm not Kyo! I'm Mika, and you better……STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Mika yells as she picks up Kagura with her powers and sends her flying across the room banging into objects along the way.

"UGH! Mika just send her away before I burn her to ashes…..oops sorry too late. Just send away the ashes!" Ryoko states. She complies and Kagura's ashes are zapped out of the room. Everyone turns back to Hatori. Just then Hatori says, "Yuki you might want to run away, far away where they wont be able to find you." Yuki just stares at him with a look of complete confusion.

"Yuki, Lucky Kyo, how wonderful to see you! Oh…,but am I seeing double?" Ayame declares as he and Akito walk into the room. "Now I know why he told me to run." Yuki grumbles under his breath until you hear **POOF** and see two rats sitting on a chair. "Could you warn me before you do that!" Ryoko states. "You were the one who landed on me!" Yuki retorts. "Yeah sorry about that, I was sitting on your head." "And why were you sitting on my head?" "It was comfy! What did you want me to sit on spiky haired guy its hurts!

"What's going on here?" Akito asks (a/n:Fire: In that oh so sexy voice of his!). "What! No, Wait! I didn't go into the cookie jar!" Mika yells! You see her paw reaching into a 'Sucker' jar. "Hatori why do you have that there?" Akito asks. "They're for actual patients not little cats." Hatori answers.

You hear little moan and see big puppy dog eyes on Mika's cute little cat face. "Oh please, spare me!" Ryoko says under her breath. "No really I want to why there are more animals here…" Akito starts, "Than there should be!" Kyo finishes!

"Well it all started with our late great-great-grandfather……………………"

TBC

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**Hatori: Now to find out what happened to Momiji.**

**Fire: Get Back Here!**

**Momiji: Wait stop! Fire's insane! FIRE'S INSANE!**

**Fire: Alright I'll stop since you got my message.**

**Dragon: Give me the weapon.**

**Fire hands her rabbit tranquilizer.**

**Dragon: And the other one.**

**Fire hands her sniper.**

**Dragon: And now…the poison.**

**Fire hands over six bottles of poison.**

**Dragon: Now give me the Truth Serum I really don't want to know what he does in his spare time seeing as I saw Lederhosen in the back of his closet!**

**Fire hands over Truth Serum: What were you doing in the back of his closet?**

**Dragon: well………………………..**

**Kisa: Find out what Dragon's answer is on the next Opposite Ends.**

(a/n: We will need at least 5 more reviews in order to post the next chapter or it may take us 5 months! Flames will be used to make smores!)


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